It was to my amazement that I ever had to go on welfare. I had worked for the Human Resources Administration (HRA) for many years when suddenly I began to suffer from manic depression. I lost my job and eventually became homeless. I was homeless for fifteen months, living on the streets and in cars. At the time, I was a volunteer at a food pantry in a welfare center - the pantry that I now coordinate. The only thing I could do was walk downstairs and apply for public assistance. It was then that I understood how victimizing a system it was.

When I wanted to get my job back with HRA the system mandated that I be seen by the psychiatrist through public assistance to verify my illness. They wouldn't take me or my word or the word of my doctor. So I went and ironically their doctor agreed and told them that I was indeed suffering from manic depression. Their psychiatrist put me on medication that made me feel like a zombie. With public assistance, I got a Medicaid card and was able to go to a psychiatrist who accepted Medicaid, which was rare. I got one to one therapy and was able to go back and fight for my job. The workers at HRA actually encouraged me to get my job back, which I found strange. I fought for my job and won. However, I opted for early retirement because if I had missed a single day of work I probably would have been fired.

Being on public assistance was difficult, I received only a paltry amount of money to live on. I can't see how mothers with children could survive on that little bit of money. At least I was divorced and my children were all grown so public assistance provided me with enough to eat. I was always ashamed to go to the store with food stamps. But, I learned how to do it. I learned that if I wanted to eat I had better go and use those coupons. While the system is faulty in many ways, if it had not been there when I needed it I can honestly say that I don't think I would be here today.

My involvement with public assistance, first as a worker and then as a welfare participant, allowed me to recognize the need for some fundamental changes in welfare. There should be a guaranteed income that would provide a floor to give enough money to people to live decently. There should be creation of a broad range of entitlement services that would include childcare, transportation and education. Welfare should invest in the potential of the individual so that those individuals could become economically secure. And a change in procedural policy that would guarantee people what the constitution guarantees: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.